North Korea is in the World Cup for the first time in 44 years.  They have a pretty good striker, Jong Tae-se.  Problem is, he’s not North Korean.  He was born in Japan to South Korean parents, and has never lived in North Korea.  He plays for a pro club in Japan.  In advance of North Korean international matches, he goes into the DPRK embassy in Tokyo, switches his South Korean passport for a DPRK one, and upon his return, reverses the procedure.

Their coach, however, is North Korean.  The skill is home-grown — but lest you think that this has nothing to do with Kim Jong-il, the coach gets real-time coaching advice from Mr. Kim.  On cell phones.  In the coach’s words, “mobile phones that are not visible to the naked eye.”  Mr. Kim designed these phones, by the way.  In addition to inventing the hamburger.

Most North Koreans know little about soccer.  They also, of course, are almost never allowed outside the country, and, if they were, any resident soccer fans would be unlikely to be able to afford transportation to South Africa.  North Korea’s solution: Pay more than 1,000 Chinese nationals to sit in the stands — all dressed identically, by the way — to wave DPRK flags and cheer appropriately.

A plan with South Korea to broadcast World Cup games to North Korea fell apart.  Something something North Korea alleged to have sunk a South Korean ship.  Not that big of a deal, though.  Very few DPRK citizens have televisions.  They do, however, have radios.  In Pyongyang, every house comes with a radio.  A radio that cannot be turned off.

Source: ABC News

Newcastle will be relegated and Hull City will remain in the Premier League?  WTF?

Enter to win an autographed Los Angeles Galaxy jersey

[In a sing-song:]  Gooooo, Wales!  (They ain’t got a chance, but) Gooooo, Wales!

Over here, we won’t even get to see the bloodbath to which Scotland will subject the Faroe Islands.

I was watching the Brazil-Ghana match, and the play-by-play announcer narrated on one play that “a moa chases it down for Ghana”.

This is really not fair, having giant extinct ratites on your football team.  They are so tall, so big, so fast.  A stray kick can shatter the ribcage of a grown man.  Their backwards-bending knees give major unpredictability to where a penalty kick is aimed.  Unfair, but a genius move nonetheless.  Must be the Mensa contingent on the Ghana team.

(Also, I cannot justify a whole post for a bad pun, but someone has to say that Beckham “puts the freak back in free kick“.)

Over $1600 for two tickets to a football game, and the reserve still isn’t met.

A football game.

(Response to my troll, my apology thereof, and my actual argument found at the discussion page, starting at post #254.)

[Vinnie] Jones, who achieved widespread fame in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels … reckons that he could have an entire aeroplane’s cabin crew bumped off for a mere £3000.  This was his claim, somewhere between Tokyo and Heathrow, sometime last May, when a member of said cabin crew attempted to remonstrate with him for slapping a fellow passenger in the face, 10 times.  And this was not a shonky, under-manned CheapyJet Air Van.  This was a Virgin Atlantic A340-600, the longest commercial aeroplane in the world, with an on-board staff of 19. That’s less than £158 each.  Cheap for a stewardess, and a downright bargain for the pilot.

                    – Hugo Rifkind, “Keeping up with the Joneses”, The Herald, 15 December 2003.

Well, I’ve finally done it.  I’ve signed up to begin the sailing courses with Marina Sailing that Jenn gave me for Christmas (thanks Jenn!)  I am terrifically excited.  After I finish the Complete Sailing Course I will have had 21 hours of on-the-water instruction, three hours of classroom instruction, lots of home study, and will have received ASA Basic (101) and Coastal Cruising (103) certification, allowing me to charter boats.

They are sponsoring a photo contest right now.  The following are my favorites.  Click the pictures for larger versions.

Seagull Chicks

Sea Lion on a Rock

I have started watching televised billiards.  I find this to be a fascinating game.  There is a great deal of logical and geometric reasoning involved coupled with precise training of bodily movements, sort of chess meets figure skating.

I followed the women’s world semifinals and finals, with players from the U.S., U.K., and Ireland reaching the top ranks.  The two finalists both have “a snooker background”, say the announcers, and explain that snooker is played on a longer table (so they are very good with use of the bridge) and with smaller balls (so they have good ball control.)  And watching Jeanette Lee, known as The Black Widow, lean over the cloth, chest touching the table and long black hair brushing the felt, I noted that billiards is the only women’s sport in which the sportcaster can get away with proclaiming “Nice rack!”

The steroid question will always be your last question

[When Journalist Rick Reilly challenges Sammy Sosa to take a test for steroids,] Sosa chuckles ruefully, pats Reilly on the back, and replies, “No, sir, that would weaken the player’s union, and besides, your question is quite inappropriate.”

Just kidding. Actually, Sosa yells and screams. His answer includes the word “motherfucker.” “You’re not my father,” he tells Reilly.

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