Archive for the 'gross' Category

Donella’s Tacos

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 02:10:15 -0500

Chad Donella is really a fine actor of my generation.  He, unfortunately, has not gotten a chance to really shine in a perfect role yet, but the performances I have witnessed have all been fantastic.

He was in the X-Files episode “Hungry”, playing a brain-eating mutant.  Just try to pull off that role in a heartwarming way, but he did it.  And then there’s Taco Bell.  Several years ago Taco Bell filmed a commercial with him overjoyed to be stuffing his face with a taco.  We’ll likely be deluged with the commercial again when the X Games start showing in a few weeks.

Thing is, he filmed the taco commercial after the X-Files episode, as far as I know.  And the X-Files episode has a scene where he compulsively and with great gusto sucks human brain matter off his fingers.  Fictionally, of course.  I hope.  Same expression of glee as in the Taco spot.

So what, did some ad executive see his brain-sucking and think, “That’s the guy for us!  Let’s have him dig into our tacos!”  Did they have an open call for the commercial, or did someone call his agent and say, “Hey, send the brain-sucker over to chomp our tacos!”  Would be interesting to find out.  Probably.

Onion goo

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 20:28:23 -0600

I had an odd experience last night. I cut open an onion, but exactly one of the layers had transformed into goo. When I squeezed on the shell of the onion, the contents of the layer oozed out like brown oniony toothpaste.

Not cuz I hate you, but cuz you’re icky by nature

Mon, 08 Nov 2004 23:02:59 -0600

Call me a nature hater, if you must, but I’m not too thrilled about encouraging beetles and spiders to nest in my roof.

Cannibalism

Tue, 30 Mar 2004 16:19:10 -0600

There are lots of things that some people have a problem with that don’t bother me at all, even though I wouldn’t do them myself: gay sex, body piercing, first-trimester abortion, smoking marijuana, and promiscuity with careful protection, for instance. There are lots of things that I don’t personally approve of but don’t think should be illegal, such as heroin use, cigarette smoking, extreme body modification, Abrahamic religion, and S&M. There are even things involving death that fall into the latter category for me, such as suicide and properly documented euthanasia. I think the resources of society should be extended to help these people, should they want it, but in the end I believe people have a right to their own bodies and minds. But surely — surely — we have to have a law against one man offering himself for sacrifice and another man killing and eating him.  Right?  I mean — right?

Problem is, I can’t figure out how to justify this. If suicide is OK, and meat-eating is OK, and hurting and killing another person with his or her consent is OK, why is this behaviour different? Why am I so viciously opposed to this? Some people will surely claim this points to a failure of a life lived without a God-given moral code, so if you want to post and say something like this, that’s fine, go ahead. If you want to post a non-answer, such as “How can you approve of those things in the first list?” or “How can you oppose the things in the second list?” that’s fine, too. But I’m really hoping some fellow extreme lefties among my readers (Dave? Becca?) will help me tackle this. Is there something unique about human slaughter and human cannibalism among “consenting adults” (let’s be really clear here, there’s no way we’re not talking about severely fucked-up people with significant mental health problems) that makes it worthy of legislation, or do I need to bite the bullet and say that if people are free to their own bodies, they’re free to do this as well?

Larger pieces of flesh

Fri, 12 Mar 2004 23:52:16 -0600

“Larger pieces of flesh torn off by the lizards were scooped up and taken back to the webs of tarantulas and other bird-eating spiders.”  Typically sensationalist Sun journalism, but I’m captivated.  I know it’s morbid, but really, he had it coming.  Poisonous animals are not pets.  And make no mistake, nature needs scavenger animals, and there is no reason humans should be exempted.

I know I would have regretted it, but I wish there were pictures.

Lara St. John’s H2O2

Sun, 09 Dec 2001 13:57:43 -0600

If it were not for memepool I would never have posts on this site.  This time they linked to a story on Lara St. John’s website.  Lara St. John is a fantastically talented classical violinist whom I have adored since I first saw her, performing live at the Borders Books & Music in Santa Monica, California.  The Carmen Fantasy that appears on her Gypsy album sounds impossible to play (this is not hyperbole) but she makes it come to vibrant life.

The story on her site is entitled Lara’s near-death experience and details her accidental poisoning with hydrogen peroxide during a photo shoot (she was accidentally handed a glass of it when she asked for water.)  Before she had time to stop she had swallowed a tablespoon of an aqueous solution of hydrogen peroxide at 35% (yes, this thoroughly trumps my Gatorade story.)  I’ll spoil the ending: she recovered without needing surgery (this apparently disappointed the surgeons.)  “So life goes back to normal,” she says, “but without spices in food, any alcohol, or anything crunchy, for a while. And apparently things like a Vindaloo curry are out for the rest of my life, or at least a long time.”  She counts this experience among the “random and ridiculous” accidents she has survived throughout her life.  “Apparently someone somewhere is looking out for me,” says Lara, “but I sort of wish they could do so a few split seconds earlier.”

Gatorade goes bad

Thu, 15 Nov 2001 09:43:05 -0600

(This is a potentially unpleasant post, so skip it if you would like.)

Gatorade goes bad.  Logically there is no reason why it shouldn’t, eventually; it just had never occurred to me before that it would.  I keep a bottle of Gatorade in my car for when I get thirsty.  Last night I reached over, unscrewed the cap, and had swallowed three times before I could stop myself.  It was the consistency of mucilage or phlegm.  It did not taste hyper-revolting, which is a good sign, but it was certainly off.  When I got out of the car I held it under the light: it was a petri dish.  Black colonies were floating throughout the semi-liquid.  I was afraid last night that I would be taken ill; as of this morning nothing unpleasant has happened, and I count myself very fortunate.

Please keep this in mind regarding storage of Gatorade.