I called the tow truck company.  To release the vehicle, I apparently need to bring in a vehicle release form from the PD.

Also, my registration has lapsed.  I’ve been not operating it, but apparently I needed to give the DMV money for the right to have it parked and not being operated.  Fun.  And I didn’t do that.  The registration expired in January.

But apparently my registration was canceled last June.  This was because I didn’t have it insured.  This seemed reasonable because, you know, I wasn’t driving it.

Also, for a long and horrible reason that deserves a longer explanation in a later post, I don’t have the title for the vehicle.

That’s not the only thing I need to release the vehicle, though.  I owe the tow company $175.  For towing my stolen vehicle to a lot absurdly distant.  I don’t need the truck any longer.  I asked them if it would be OK to just sign it over to them.  They said they needed the original pink slip.  I asked if it would be OK to give them DMV form 227, which is expressly designed to allow transfer of ownership with a stolen title.  No, that’s not OK.  I need the original.  I would get this, by mail, through the DMV.

This would be fine, except that they will charge me $50 per day to keep my truck on their lot.  Now, they automatically own the car after 42 days, at which point they’d hold a lien sale.  But I’d still owe them for the accumulated storage costs ($2100), minus the amount of money they’d get for the truck at auction (roughly $13.17, largely due to the ignition apparently being destroyed in some fashion and the driver’s side door not being closable.)

So, on genius advice, I called the local NPR station to see if they would come pick it up.  They can do that, as early as tomorrow.  And they will accept the transfer-of-ownership-without-title form.  So I can get the release form from the Arcadia PD, pay the tow company $225 ($175 in tow fees plus $50 in storage fees), for the right to donate my car to charity.

So I called Arcadia back, to see what the procedure is to get a release form.

“Well, normally you would come down here and get one,” I was told.  “But your registration has lapsed.  Normally we’d release it anyway, because you’re the victim.  But it’s been ten months [since, unbeknown to me, the DMV canceled my registration].  So it’s up to the watch commander.”

“So, basically, what you’re saying is that whether or not I get a form allowing me to reclaim my vehicle that was stolen from me is up to the discretion of whoever is sitting behind the desk at that moment?” I asked.

“Yeah, that’s basically what I’m saying,” I was told.

“That’s funny.  I thought we had a system of laws to determine issues such as these,” I responded.

“Well, we do,” she said.  “But a big part of it is institutional policy.”

What?  Institutional policy?  That’s … surely not what she means.  Surely she means something like “officer discretion”.  I later had a debate with my father about this (short, because I ended it) about whether on not police discretion was reasonable.  I contended that it was not.  My father contended that it was just fine.  I recounted a story I had heard about a police officer who explains that she won’t give tickets for driving under the influence.  It would be hypocritical, she argued, because she drives drunk.  Isn’t officer discretion … what gets us into a place in which minorities are disproportionately targeted versus white people?  Basically, it seems, whether or not I get my release tomorrow is a function of how much the cop likes my story and how I look.  Christ.

So, I’ll keep my readers posted.  We’ll see if I can get police permission to pay hundreds of dollars to a private company contracted by a California city for absconding with and storing a vehicle stolen from me to allow me the right to donate the vehicle to charity.

Hey, kids!  Here’s something I bet you didn’t know: Black people?  Back in 1800 or whenever?  They liked being slaves.  True!  Many savvy, industrious Negroes actually volunteered for that fine, desirable position.  It was a completely balanced, fair, hugely successful system, until those damn liberals came along and ruined everything.  I know, right?  What a shame.

Do you know what else?  America was wholly victorious in Vietnam.  It’s a fact!  Kicked some serious enemy butt!  Mission accomplished!  Sure it was a little bumpy for awhile, but President Nixon, that great and wronged American hero, put us on the righteous path in the end, wrapped that sucker up beautifully and made America the noble Superman to the world.  Hey, it’s the truth!  You can look it up in your history textbook!

Of course the venom is justified.  But the best use of sympathetic venom is not to curl up and let it take hold but to stand up and find the antidote.

This is not the first time the issue has crossed the mcgees.org desk.  It did 8 years ago as Texas Textbook Bonfire.  But don’t just get pissed.  Get moving.  Write letters.  Better yet, donate to almost anyone in the “Sleeve” section of the mcgees.org sidebar.

Get moving, people.  Work now, snark later.

With me? 

A Woot Bag of Crap just saved the life of someone in Haiti during the earthquake.

If this random weirdness gets you in a place the former news hasn’t, there are links to donate to charity on the Woot blog where this story showed up.

Feel free to post.

No they don’t!  They hope someone comes along and bids $500,000, and then another guy ups that.  “Hope you win!”  Gawd.

It’s that whole mentality of making computers seem more like people, like when Tellme says, in a concerned and slightly embarrassed voice, “Hm, I’m sorry, I didn’t get that” instead of “Please repeat”.  Or when — I am not making this up — my bank added the sound of keyboard keys clicking in the background to the recorded voice telling you they are looking up your account information.

Or — and this drives me up the wall — when charities use script fonts and blue ink on their solicitations, so it looks like someone personally wrote it with a ballpoint.  I can always tell, because there is not a single person on the planet who writes the two es at the end of my name exactly the same.  One is a transition letter, one is a closing letter, and they shouldn’t be perfect matches.  The next logical step would be to commission fonts that have n (five to ten) slightly differing letterforms for each glyph, all of which connect, and the software to randomly choose which one to render.  That might fool me.  Until then, if you send me a fake hand-written letter, you are not getting money.  Period.