AuctionSniper is giving away free snipes on Friday 30 July 2004.  AuctionSniper allows you to automatically "snipe" auctions on eBay; i.e., bid at the last minute.  I use them constantly and fully recommend them.  If you sign up with this link I'll get some free credits; visit auctionsniper.com directly if you want to sign up without crediting me.

We may be able to hear the voices of Lincoln and Whitman within the next few years.  With any luck they won't be as odd as the Tennyson recording recovered from a wax cylinder.

Google circa 1960.  Very, very clever.

A popsicle to the person who finds the most interesting thing at wordcount.org.  My favorite so far: to, two, and too are all powers of 2.

Martha Stewart has requested leniency on her sentencing due to an extraordinary history of charity.  Curious?  Well, for instance, she "greeted new neighbors with freshly-baked bread", "consoled a friend whose father died", "gave cocoa to the parents of children appearing on her television show", and "compliment[ed] staff at lunches".

I set Yahoo! Mail to automatically send me an update on 7 July 2004 some time ago.  The message was "Global GIF patent expires".  The GD Library FAQ still mentions these patents expiring in the future.  Anybody have details? It would be nice to quit using 1.19.

If you're looking for an illustrative example of the depths of depravity to which spammers have descended, you can cite the advertisement of a webcam site I received with the subject line OSAMA STRIKES AGAIN!

The site, which I'm a bit reluctant to name because I don't want them getting free publicity, is SeeTheProfile.com.  Problem is, they write it in their emails as WWW.SEETHEPROFILE.COM, which I parse as "Seethe Profile" and expect to publish descriptions of boiling anger.

Jenn, don't read this post.

It's been a long time (more than ten years) since we have had a serious earthquake in Southern California.  I'm getting weird feelings that one will occur soon.

The reason I'm mentioning this is that no one ever lists their missed prognostications.  So three months from now I'll revisit this topic, and post that no earthquake has happened.  You can then add this to your mental file of anecdotes about predictions, so that next time someone tells you that they had a friend who predicted something major, you can say "Oh yeah!  I know a guy who predicted an earthquake and nothing happened!"

On the other hand, if we have a 7.4 tomorrow, I expect you all to start worshiping me immediately.

Statement testifying to rape of minors, withholding of food, and assault of prisoners by U.S. forces at Abu Ghraib, as presented by the Washington Post.

I've had a go at listing my 25 favorite albums.  You'll find tons to disagree with, I'm sure.

• a-ha: Scoundrel Days
• Alice in Chains: Sap / Jar of Flies
• Amos, Tori: Little Earthquakes
• Beatles, The: Abbey Road
• Big Wreck: In Loving Memory of…
• Chieftains, The: An Irish Evening
• Dream Theater: Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence
• Enya: Watermark
• Frente!: Marvin the Album
• Guns N' Roses: Use Your Illusions I & II
• John Butler Trio, The: Three
• Led Zeppelin: III
• Led Zeppelin: IV
• McKennitt, Loreena: The Book of Secrets
• Metallica: Metallica
• Nirvana: Nevermind
• Nirvana: Unplugged in New York
• Page & Plant: No Quarter
• Pearl Jam: Vitalogy
• Pearl Jam: Riot Act
• Portishead: Portishead
• Queens of the Stone Age: Songs for the Deaf
• Queensrÿche: Promised Land
• Radiohead: The Bends
• Temple of the Dog: Temple of the Dog

This list will be slightly different tomorrow, and next week.

There are a couple of cheats.  Alice in Chains' Sap and Jar of Flies were originally issued as two separate EPs, but have since been composited into a single LP, and I'm listing it as such.  And despite absurd protestations that the Use Your Illusions were not a double album, I'm listing them together; as such it deserves being on the list if you distill out the fabulous stuff from amidst the endless filler.

Averaging the AMG scores of the 25 albums gives 4.04 stars.  This goes up to 4.125 if Scoundrel Days is omitted (I've never met anyone else who likes that album.)

What you'll probably first notice is how overwhelmingly commercial this list is.  There are just a few entries that were not runaway multi-platinum successes.  The list would have a greater pretention factor if you had never heard of any of the albums, but it wouldn't reflect the music with which I have large experience.  If you want to respond "You only put Guns N' Roses on the list because you haven't heard Galvanized Paper Chariots' latest album," please feel free.

I never quite know whether Moore is as ignorant as he looks, or even if that would be humanly possible.

And so sets the tone of Christopher Hitchens' review of Fahrenheit 9/11.  Hitchens, erstwhile darling of the cynical left, has recently turned all-around nut job, accusing, for instance, a then-sitting president (Clinton) of rape while providing not a single footnote.

"Poor people often volunteer to join the army, and some of them are duskier than others.  Betcha didn't know that," Hitchens writes.  Oh, well, I guess it's OK then to systematically deny opportunities to minorities.

I have loudly criticized Moore on this website for his distortions and inaccuracies.  But Hitchens really isn't stupid enough to believe his complaints are the best arguments.  One wonders what is really going on in his head.  For instance, Hitchens writes:

In the film, Moore says loudly and repeatedly that not enough troops were sent to garrison Afghanistan and Iraq.  (This is now a favorite cleverness of those who were, in the first place, against sending any soldiers at all.)  Well, where does he think those needful heroes and heroines would have come from?  Does he favor a draft — the most statist and oppressive solution?

This isn't a contradiction.  It can be a bad idea to start a war, and also a bad idea to fight that war poorly.  The solution is to even the playing field a bit — offer more opportunities to minorities and increase the wage of your soldiers — and then if you don't have enough recruits to fight a discretionary war, or cannot afford it, don't fight the war.

Social ethicist Robert Franklin said yesterday on NPR that "most black clergy" have a problem seeing the battle for same-sex marriage rights as a "civil rights struggle", because a civil rights struggle must meet certain criteria.  It must have divine support; it must be supported by scientific research; it must be common-sensical; and it must produce "persuasive leaders".

Watch for nosebleeds, folks, the air's a bit thin at the top.  What a classic example of a "close the door, we're here" mindset.  Surely no segregationist or white supremicist has ever claimed God's support, or the support of scientific research, or common sense, or claimed that black civil rights crusaders were inarticulate, right?

To paraphrase:

Maureen Corrigan:  You wrote an autobiography.  You lied in it.  It's still good writing, but that sucks.

Vivian Gornick:  Ha!  You thought I was going to tell the truth in my autobiography?  You drooling idiot!

Anyone else catch the BBC World Service editorial at about 07:40 GMT on 30 Jun 2004?  It was a nonsensical bit of jingoistic blather that I was surprised to hear.  It purported to explain why temperate zones in the world were more economically successful (i.e., rich) than tropical zones.  The main thrust of the argument was that this was because the diseases of the temperate zones, such as plague and smallpox, had largely been eliminated.  By why had they been eliminated while malaria and other diseases of the tropics had not?  Because the temperate zones are rich.

That was the less racist bit.  The more racist bit contended that the United States was able to invade Iraq, and not the other way around, not because of disparity in the quality or quantity of resources, but rather because of differences in how well the resources were utilized.  That will come as a surprise to the editors of The World Factbook:

• Iraq: petroleum, natural gas, phosphates, sulfur
  
  
• United States: coal, copper, lead, molybdenum, phosphates, uranium, bauxite, gold, iron, mercury, nickel, potash, silver, tungsten, zinc, petroleum, natural gas, timber

It must be all that sulfur that makes up for the lack of iron, gold, coal, and timber.

This was followed by a bit that was simply bizarre, that tried to explain the apparent exceptions of Australia, New Zealand, the eastern seaboard of the U.S., and the Cape: that when Europeans went to settle, they wanted places just a little bit "better" (that was the word) than what they were used to.  Not like the Congo, which was left unsettled because the colonists were uncomfortable without air conditioning.

To win this struggle [in Iraq], the United States needs to do three things that may go against the political interests of both parties:  Stand up for justice for the Palestinians.  Remove our imperial presence.  Cease to intervene in [Iraq's] internal affairs.

Who am I quoting?  Patrick Fucking Buchanan.  Yeah, that one.  Bizarre.

(Hey, what can I say? I'm an idiot. Read the criticism of this post here, my initial response here, and my smack-self-on-forehead moment here. Mike, you were right.)

You've probably seen it already, but: Rock Paper Saddam.  (Tiger hand beats paper.  Like totally beats paper.  Always.)

The Bush-Cheney campaign has instructed supporters that it is their "duty" to turn over copies of their church directories to the campaign, recruit at least 5 church members apiece to volunteer for Bush-Cheney, and distribute "Voter Guides".

If a 501(c)(3) organization supports a political candidate, they endanger their tax-exempt status.  But the Bush-Cheney campaign insists there is nothing wrong with what they are doing, as they are simply encouraging citizens to talk with other citizens about political issues.

Can you vote for president after a felony conviction?  The answer: depends on your state of residence.  Highlights:

• Vermont, Maine: Eligibility to vote not affected by a felony conviction.
  
  
• California, New York, Massachusetts, etc.: Automatically restored after completion of sentence.
  
  
• Alabama, Kentucky: The right to vote may be regained only through a pardon.
  
  
• Florida: Civil rights, including the right to vote, are suspended when a person is convicted of a felony.  A felon may have his or her civil rights restored by obtaining a full pardon, conditional pardon, or restoration of civil rights from the Governor of Florida.

Find every state's standards at ncsl.org

I don't care what your point is.  Use the phrase risible fecklessness by the hirsute in your article and I'm going to stop reading it.