Peoplelistening experiences
At the movies today, I heard several weird things — and as I am getting so much better about refraining from saying the first thing that pops into my head, and instead saving them to relate here, I thought I’d indulge myself thusly.
For instance, I was being helped by someone at the concessions counter. As he was filling my drink, I saw that he had a large, elaborate tattoo reading “Cynthia” on his right forearm.
“Is that ink still relevant?” I asked.
“”Technically’”, he responded, using finger quotes. Then he looked down at his arm. “Oh, you mean that one? No. She doesn’t exist.”
And I succeeded in not saying something like “You might want to think about settling down soon. You’re going to run out of skin.”
Also, for the second time now, I was asked for spare change by a panhandler who was, at that moment, talking on a mobile phone. “You might want to think about eliminating your data plan” is what sprung into my mind. But instead I gave him two quarters.
Further, outside the theater, there were two young women. One was screaming into a mobile phone: “I have so much in my future! I have great things in my future! I can do so much better than you!” I was tempted to pretend to read a sign until she got off the phone and say “So … you’re single, then?” But, no. Didn’t. 
Finally, two (other) women were standing outside the theater trying to decide what to see. One was perusing the titles and showtimes, and the other was … doing something else. Not sure. Looking at posters, I think.
The former said: “Do you want to see Hot Tub Machine or The Jonasses?” The latter answered. The former replied, “OK. But I want to see that other movie at some point: L.A. Mission.” For real. I was dumbstruck.
Nothing sprung into my mind immediately, but it would probably have been something like “I see why you go to the movies instead of staying home to read a book.” But that would be dickish even by my standards, and there is a fish/barrel threshold beyond which it’s not even fun.
In the post category, I, of course, am the asshole.
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May 12th, 2010 at 02h19
t would probably have been something like “I see why you go to the movies instead of staying home to read a book.”
Or maybe “I hope none of them have subtitles!”?
I’m sure others can come up with better dickish comebacks.