Now all I need is a sponsor, I guess
So, I’ve kicked pain meds for the second time in my life. This time was much, much harder than last time.
I did it by myself, with pretty much everyone I know on vacation or otherwise out of town. I was dosing with Klonopin to keep from seizing, and I made it through. This time, I went from 60 - 100 mg Oxycodone a day to zero. I thought going down to 5 mg would be the hard part. Turns out the hard part is 5 mg to zero.
Scary stuff. And no fun at all. Weird. You would think that writhing in agony on your couch in cold sweats in an air conditioned studio apartment would be enjoyable. But no, it’s not.
I have a feeling that in, oh, say, fifty years, we will look back at opiates (especially long-term) for pain control as we do leeches and bloodletting. But it’s not fifty years hence, and we don’t, and doctors still prescribe them.
I had tickets to three successive nights of Eddie Izzard at the Kodak Theatre. On the first day I had tickets, I stopped the pain meds. I couldn’t drag myself to the bus to go see him on the subsequent nights, and he’s my fave.
So I’m in an interesting position, should I be in another major accident. If I am taken by ambulance to the hospital, what then? Do I tell them, “Hold the Dilaudid, I’m a former addict”? What will they give me? Naprosyn?
Anyway. Yeah, I hurt less now that I’m off the pain meds. I guess that my body would signal pain as a trigger to take more pills. I’m not peachy-keen yet. I’m not ready to go back to work yet. But I’m better. Thinking more clearly, more energy, alert enough to notice that my apartment is really horribly messy.
Sleep is still hard. Regular readers know all the troubles I’ve had with sleep anyway, but sleep once one is off of Oxycodone is well-nigh impossible. So I’m keeping weird hours, napping when I can, trying my best — trying my best — trying my best. I have some friends in Australia. That helps.
So, kids? Don’t fuck around with Oxycodone, OK? I’m not some stoner loser here. I’m a college grad, computer wizard, 148 IQ, 99+ percentile mega man. I’ve never even smoked a joint. And these prescribed meds got me. OK? Think you’re too smart to get addicted? Think again. A brain is a brain, and a reward center is a reward center, and addiction has nothing to do with intelligence.
Seriously. Avoid.
That is all.
Be well.
Email subscription
August 13th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
” addiction has nothing to do with intelligence” or spirituality or
value as a human being. It is not a moral issue. Yes. A sponsor is a good idea. And meetings. And self acceptance. Love!
August 14th, 2008 at 8:16 am
What you’ve accomplished is really amazing. I am so happy to hear you are able to think more clearly and have more energy. It is interesting that you are actually handling the pain differently too. This is all such a very good step towards better quality of life for you and I am so glad to hear it.
Time to work on that messy apartment now.
August 14th, 2008 at 10:32 am
You should get a tattoo, like the blood type ones. No “narcotic pain meds, please”
Awesome job, by the way.
September 19th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
HAHA Im laughing at questionaire. Im not sure how I came about your site, but I felt compelled to read it and comment on it. I am in the USA small town middle aged father of 2. I was searching google for information about stamp collecting STUFF! (NEW HOBBY) anyhow! I read above blog message and was really touched by it. I thought you could use a CYBER HUG (or hand shake) as I am not totaly familuar as to who or whom your all about yet I wanted to write what I hope are some words of encouragement to you. KEEP UP THE FANTABULUS WORK! There is hope for all and serously KEEP ON KEEPin ON as they say here in US. I look forward to comeback and here your appartment is cleaned up along w/ yourself. I raise my glass of Coke a Cola to you and wish you and your family the best in the NeaR and FaR future. Tiny
PS Hope you dont mind Ive added you site to my ever GROWING Fav LIST. again Thank you,Tiny
September 19th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
HAHA Again w/ laughter sorry for Spelling errors maybe you could add a spell check box in website I can only hope for it maybe next time! I sometimes get ahead of myself and forget to go back and look at what Ive actually typed. AGAIN Keep on keepin on,Tiny