Niall Post Three: Messy cars
Niall: Do we have a place in the house where we keep empty bottles?
Joshua: Yes, in the kitchen.
N: Why haven’t you taken these bottles in?
(Note to reader: I drive a luxury car, but I keep it like I live in it. No, scratch that. People who live in their cars have clutter, but it’s probably useful clutter, like clothes. They’re probably good custodians. I keep my car’s interior as if I let a schizophrenic homeless woman live in it. A schizophrenic homeless woman who panhandles for Clamato.)
N: Your car is very messy, Dad.
J: Yeah, I know. I’m not setting a very good example, am I?
N: When we get to Grandma’s house, let’s take all this trash in.
J: No, it would be rude to take all this into Grandma’s house.
N: Why? (Lightbulb:) Sometimes Grandma gets grumpy when you’re rude. (I hope and believe he was doing the American thing of using “you” as the third-person indefinite, not the second-person definite.)
J: Yeah. I’ll clean it out when I get to our house.
(Upon arriving at my in-laws and opening the trunk:)
N: Dad, you have cans in your trunk.
(Did I mention the bag lady also joneses for Monster drinks?)
J: Yes.
N: Your car is very messy!
J: Niall, please stop.
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February 10th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Have I taken the cans in? No, I have useful things to do like “get high” and “compulsively blog”. I’ll clean it tomorrow when I, you know, clean the kitchen and pick up my papers.
February 13th, 2008 at 11:11 pm