Exceptions to types
OK, most monosexual readers would say they have “a type”, however loosely-defined it is. Here’s a game:
1. Who is the hottest celebrity (film or television) who is entirely not your type?
2. Who is the most repugnant celebrity (film or television) who is completely your type? Physically. You can include bearing, but you can’t figure extracurricular stuff into this analysis, such as real-life insanity, hit-and-run accidents, or weird cult memberships.
Think about it for a second. My answers inside.
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February 9th, 2008 at 2:19 am
1. Anna Belknap. That’s the only thing that makes CSI: NY even vaguely tolerable at times.
2. Juliette Binoche. I should be tripping all over myself, especially in peak roles such as Damage, Bleu, and Unbearable Lightness, but I for some reason cannot stand her.
February 10th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Actually, I’ve been thinking more about this, and I really have two types, and Anna Belknap is not really an exception when the types are properly abstracted. They are:
Tall-for-their-frame angular brunettes, Slavic- or Baltic-looking to some degree or another: Famke Janssen, Milla Jovovich, Olivia Wilde (who so needs to be added to the list), Martina Jacova, Svetlana Khorkina (who is blonde, maybe?)
Those are the ones that Jenn calls “bitchy Russian women”. And the other:
Compact, busty brunettes: Jenn, Irène Jacob, Julia Ormond, Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, essentially every ex-girlfriend — and Anna Belknap
So to go against type, I’d have to go to someone like “Jessica Simpson” (Look, I know she’s dumb. My fantasies don’t involve conversing with her any more than my fantasies of Angelina Jolie involve balancing our checkbooks.)
February 10th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Oh, and remember the rule: liking Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, or Antonio Banderas doesn’t make you gay, no matter what your orientation.
Any other additions to the J/P/B Clause?
February 10th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
Actually, yes it does. No matter what your orientation.
And sorry, for some reason I can’t make my mind sit still for more than the 2 minutes required to answer (at least my answer) to your post.
I’ll get back to you on this one.
February 10th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Am I reading you right that “You have to be gay to find these people attractive”? Only women are turned on by Jolie, only men by Pitt and Banderas? My sampling would indicate otherwise.
February 10th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
1. Diane Kruger
2. Rainwaters Risby
Also, I find Angelina Jolie fucking terrifying. But I’d probably do Brat Pitt if he asked nicely.
Hooray for being straight!
February 10th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
1. Diane Kruger
Yeah, hot. Slightly less so when she demands that people pronounce it Dionne. Jenn thinks she’s ugly.
Also, I find Angelina Jolie fucking terrifying.
I had her specifically in mind with the “real-life insanity” instruction.
February 10th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
I don’t mean “gay” in a sexually-oriented way, more like an expression, as in, “that’s totally gay!” I’m young, what did you expect?
Angelina is hot though, so I might take that one back. And her being “fucking terrifying” is probably what makes me like her more. The other two don’t do anything for me.
February 10th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
I think I should clarify now that I’m not gay.
OK, I’ve thought about it…
1. Probably Angelina
2. Actually, I can’t think of anybody who’s my type that I find repulsive. I like dorks, even if they’re not attractive. Sue me.
PS: you have no idea how many times I’ve been tempted to write something other than “6″ on your spam question.
February 10th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
PS: you have no idea how many times I’ve been tempted to write something other than “6″ on your spam question.
Try it yet?
February 10th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
I like dorks, even if they’re not attractive.
Actually, I find that a becoming quality in women, for some reason unknown to me…
February 10th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Hahaha, I knew something like that would happen. I just tried it, and you just called me a smartass and a dumbass. That’s what I get.
But I’m a bit of a verbal masochist so I know I’ll probably do it again.
February 11th, 2008 at 9:42 am
Annette Benning is a fifty year-old mother of four. That is not traditionally my “type”, but I have such a massive crush on her that it’s ridiculous.
While there are many celebrities that fall within my type that I find dull or uninteresting, physically, I can’t think of any that I would consider repulsive.
March 28th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
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