Archive for December, 2007

Are you better off than you were seven years ago? Is anyone?

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 19:08:54 -0600

Seven years ago, who could have imagined debating whether or not our government should hold prisoners without charge, search our private information without a warrant and endorse and authorize the torture of prisoners?  Pitifully, the mindless destruction of the Constitution by the Bush administration has given way to that very debate.  — Anthony Romero, ACLU

I’d argue that the destruction has been anything but mindless — it’s been coldly, cruelly, murderously mindful — but in any case, it needs to stop, and it needs to stop now.  I don’t care if you “vote Republican”.  I don’t care if you voted for Bush.  This is not a simple political party difference.  If you endorse suspension of habeus, unlawful wiretaps, and torture, you are not an American.  This is not a “no true Scotsman” argument; this is a “no Scotsman at all” argument.  This behavior is not, was never, and will never be appropriate for a first-world democracy.  This behavior is criminal, both nationally and internationally.  It was criminal in 1945, when it was done by the Nazis, and the penalty was death.

If you agree with the Bush administration’s “enhanced” methods, you are part of the problem, and more of a problem than any terrorist.  If you do not — and our nation’s future rests on this trust — you need to be part of the solution.  The ACLU has fought these illegalities every step of the way.  And they need your help.  Give now.  Give everything you can.  If you don’t trust the ACLU, give to whomever you think can make the biggest difference.

Could be Goldkit.com does not pay you very much…

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 18:15:22 -0600

“We’ve paid out millions of dollars to hundreds of thousands of satisfied customers”

Assuming “millions of dollars” means “greater than or equal to $2,000,000 and less than $1,000,000,000″, and that “hundreds of thousands of satisfied customers” means “greater than or equal to 200,000 satisfied customers and less than 1,000,000 satisfied customers”, they could pay the average recipient just over $2 for his gold and still be speaking the truth.  But maybe the people who got $2 were the “satisfied customers”.  Maybe they have millions more customers who received less than $1 for their gold, and who were not satisfied customers, and therefore not counted in the statistics.

Methinks the ad could use more clarity.  Something like “Our average payout is $300, and we’ve paid over 300,000 people. Want to join them?”  Exact same number of characters.

Insomnia redux

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 10:38:41 -0600

I’m pretty much going to be grouchy like this all day.  I never slept for more than ten minutes at a time last night, and not at all until after 7 a.m.

Defense Exhibit “Q”

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 10:35:42 -0600

Defense Exhibit showing why instilling Abrahamic religion is tantamount to littering the streets with loaded handguns: consider the 8-year-old (search for “poppy” on that page) who says, “I really do wish that I could go to heaven with him [my hamster], but I couldn’t.”

Exactly how many steps is this away from a suicide bomber?  We have a little British girl wanting to off herself to be with a rodent in an imaginary hereafter.

Time Warp

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 02:44:24 -0600

Pain-induced insomnia and time warp.  I’ve been struggling to sleep, tossing and turning.  I looked at the clock: 1:47 a.m.  Tossed for a really long time.  Looked at the time again.  12:46 a.m.  So I’m guessing the first one was actually 11:47.  It’s now 1:44 (for real, this time) and I still cannot sleep.

Site back up

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 21:44:39 -0600

Looks like this site, and all associated sites, are back up following a hard drive crash.  Let me know if you find any problems with any of the jhmdomains.com sites.

Christian nation? House says “yes”.

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 00:03:29 -0600

Holy shit.  And on my birthday, too.  What a slap in the face.

Whereas Christmas, a holiday of great significance to Americans and many other cultures and nationalities, is celebrated annually by Christians throughout the United States and the world;

Whereas there are approximately 225,000,000 Christians in the United States, making Christianity the religion of over three-fourths of the American population;

Whereas there are approximately 2,000,000,000 Christians throughout the world, making Christianity the largest religion in the world and the religion of about one-third of the world population;

Whereas Christians Christians and Christianity have contributed greatly to the development of western civilization;

Whereas the United States, being founded as a constitutional republic in the traditions of western civilization, finds much in its history that points observers back to its Judeo-Christian roots;

Whereas on December 25 of each calendar year, American Christians observe Christmas, the holiday celebrating the birth of their savior, Jesus Christ;

Whereas for Christians, Christmas is celebrated as a recognition of God’s redemption, mercy, and Grace; and

Whereas many Christians and non-Christians throughout the United States and the rest of the world, celebrate Christmas as a time to serve others: Now, therefore, be it

      Resolved, That the House of Representatives–

            (1) recognizes the Christian faith as one of the great religions of the world;

            (2) expresses continued support for Christians in the United States and worldwide;

            (3) acknowledges the international religious and historical importance of Christmas and the Christian faith;

            (4) acknowledges and supports the role played by Christians and Christianity in the founding of the United States and in the formation of the western civilization;

            (5) rejects bigotry and persecution directed against Christians, both in the United States and worldwide; and

            (6) expresses its deepest respect to American Christians and Christians throughout the world.

Only nine “nays”.  Only nine people willing to call shenanigans and say that the United States House of Representatives should not pass a resolution “Recognizing the importance of Christmas and the Christian Faith”.

Wall.  Separation.  Church.  State.  Fuck.  You.  All.

Pat my head?

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 17:18:17 -0600

David Wilcove of Princeton, world-renowned expert on endangered species, was on Fresh Air, 2007-12-05.  He discussed gray whales’ changing relationships with people.  In the 19th century, gray whales were known as “devil fish” and would attack boats.  Reasonable.  The whalers, for their part, would harpoon calves first, knowing that the mother would not abandon her calf, leaving her available to be harpooned afterwards.  Sounds like clear-cut self-defense to me.  Now, he says,

After several decades of protection when the whales were no longer being harvested … [the whales] would bring their young up to the boats to meet the people, and this has continued to the present day as more and more whales seem to seek out this sort of contact with people.  [N]o one is certain what’s going on, but my hunch is the whales recognize that humans are no longer a threat to them, and they are genuinely curious about people and boats, and I think they also like to get their heads patted.

Greasemonkey Scripts

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 15:47:00 -0600

If you don’t know of them, and you use Firefox, I’ve been remiss in not exposing you to Greasemonkey scripts.  They are little bits of JavaScript that do cool things to the way sites are displayed.  Install Greasemonkey through the previous link, then try Gmail Beautifier, Google Search Results Ultimate Makeover, and, if you use WordPress, Akismet Auntie Spam.

Tool, Soil, and Surprise Guest

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 01:46:26 -0600

I took my dad to the Tool concert at the new Nokia Theater in Los Angeles on 10 December (yesterday, technically, but just a few hours ago).  Here are some thoughts.

The Nokia Theater is great.  Really, really great.  Great acoustics.  Acoustics so good, with such a lack of echo, that you could whisper on stage and be heard by screaming fans.  If you cranked the volume up to the level of a jet engine, your audience’s ears would bleed.

Actually, that last bit’s not hypothetical.  This was the loudest concert I’ve attended in more than a decade.  The theme seems to be quieter and quieter metal concerts, but Maynard seems not to have gotten the memo.  The problem was, soundboard mixing was poor enough, and his tenor high enough, that earplugs would entirely squelch his vocals.  So I went au naturel, auditorily.  And I’m still paying for it.  And checking for blood.

I wondered how song-y this concert would be, and how ambient.  Final total?  30 to 40 percent songs, 70 to 60 percent ambient.  It could be worse.  And by “worse” I mean more ambient.  And I want to elaborate on that.

First, a quote from the much-loathed (by me) Stephen Thomas Erlewine.  In typically dismissive fashion, he once wrote:

Tool’s greatest breakthrough was to introduce dark, vaguely underground metal to the preening pretentiousness of art rock. Or maybe it was introducing the self-absorbed pretension of art rock to the wearing grind of post-thrash metal — the order really doesn’t matter.  Though Metallica wrote their multi-sectioned, layered songs as if they were composers, they kept their musical attack ferociously at street level.  Tool didn’t.  They embraced the artsy, faux-bohemian preoccupations of Jane’s Addiction while they simultaneously paid musical homage to the dark, relentlessly bleak visions of grindcore, death metal, and thrash.

Blah blah blah, reviewer shit.  But while being one of the worst (in terms of composition) things Erlewine has ever penned, it’s probably one of the best in terms of perception.  Just strip out the pejorative adjectives and you’re left with something close to the truth: Tool successfully merged the artsy with thrash in a way that no one else I know of ever really did.

And they didn’t stagnate.  Maybe if they had released an album a year, one could see a continuous arc.  But they released an album every five years, and it seemed highly syncopated.  When Undertow came out, it was at the furthest-bleak end of my listening spectrum, but I knew I had found something special.  It was dark, moody, self-confident, catchy, and relentlessly honest.  I yearned for the second album.

The second album didn’t disappoint.  Ænima upped the ante everywhere.  It was bleaker, moodier, more self-assured, possessed of more irresistible stuff than their first album.

I almost lost them at Lateralus.  That’s a challenging listen, in the way late Radiohead is challenging.  They start to embrace an anti-song aesthetic, which means each time you crack the album it has to be in album-sized bites, which takes commitment.  Nonetheless, I worked on it, and it paid off.

Then last year came 10,000 Days.  Am I about to give Tool too much credit?  Perhaps.  If an unknown band released 10,000 Days as their first record, I’d probably call it pretentious shit and move on.  But not only had Tool really advanced on each previous incarnation, they were getting better faster than my ears were.  In that time I went from appreciating Vs. and Beethoven to Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence and Chopin.  And their swing was wider.  So I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.  While Ænima is my favorite Tool album, I’m pretty confident it won’t always be.  More preening does not necessarily equal more good, but again, they’ve earned their stripes, and they are not just any other band.  They’re probably smarter than I am.

But that leaves me in a weird quandary.  I’m not sure I really liked the concert.  It seemed indulgent and almost didactic.  This is probably just me.  If you disagree with me, you probably have much higher standards and perception.  Or much lower.  I’ll let you decide which.

I was second-row behind the faux-pit.  I was going to mention this earlier, but it didn’t seem to flow anywhere better than it does right here (poorly), so I thought I’d go ahead and just say it.  This would be fine, except that I bought the tickets on the aftermarket, and paid through the eyeballs for them.  Was it twice as good as third-row Dream Theater?  I don’t think so.  I’d probably be more able to give a more fair assessment of the concert if I had bought them for face value.

So, Tool.  It was ambient.  And the highlight was the portion where they brought a second drum set onstage.  The bass and guitar held down a pattern.  The band’s drummer played a complex drum solo in a different time signature.  And the second drummer — now my music terminology leaves me — harmonized?  Complemented?  Somethinged the other two time signatures.  There were three time signatures going on simultaneously, and I’m pretty sure they were relatively prime.

To assure myself it was not junk, I put on a baseline CD on the way home.  The first one I happened upon was by the band Soil.

Do you know Soil?  You’re not missing a lot in the way of innovation.  You might be missing some in the way of listenability.  They’re not so much Pantera-lite as Pantera-not.  In another decade, they’d probably sound just like whomever was current whom they idolized.  It would be unfair and cruel to call them The Lovin’ Spoonful to The Doors.  They’re more like The Animals to The Beatles.  Not quite early Aerosmith to Led Zeppelin.  They’re competent but not special, is what I’m trying to say.  I put on the record and compared.  And Soil would start song after song, establish a riff, and then leave it unexplored.  Everything felt half-assed and unfinished.  My mental guitar would jump to the variations, the shifts in time signature, that I expected to hear.  When my mind does that with Tool, I’m surprised, because my ideas aren’t as good as theirs.  With Soil, I just get silence.  They end their songs at 3.5 minutes apiece.  That reassured me.  As long as I can keep this concert experience relatively unfiltered, maybe I’ll be able to enjoy it five or ten years.  Or maybe I’ll find a bootleg.

Oh, right, Surprise Guest (I wrote this post after I wrote its title, which is atypical.)  I was with my dad, and he has a cane, so we took the elevator.  And I stood next to Tom Morello.  I waved to him (later I would regret I didn’t shake his hand.)  As we exited the elevator, I pointed.  “That’s Tom Morello.”  My dad didn’t respond.  “The best guitarist in the world.”  He raised his eyebrows.  “Rage Against the Machine and Audioslave.”

“Oh, then I’ve heard him too!” he said.  “And he knew you recognized him.”

That alone was worth a good fifty bucks of the ticket price.

It’s now 11 December.  My birthday.  Hooray!  I’m enough of a math geek to never think of it as anything other than “one day older”, but enough of an American to think “yea, presents!”  So I’m going to go to sleep, and awake to the bizarre importance and attention we give to people on the anniversary of their births.

Spammer: World Wine Boutique

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 23:06:16 -0600

worldwineboutique.com (no link) is an internet wine shop.  And a spammer.  As this site has higher traffic than their own site, I’m sure this will show up in Google searches, and probably higher than theirs.  If you oppose spam, don’t order from the site.

TVo/US Relations

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 16:53:49 -0600

Quiz: what do The Bullwinkle Show, The West Wing, and CSI: Miami have in common, as regards international relations?  For bonus credit, add other titles I don’t know about.

Route Planning

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 21:00:10 -0600

I used to research route planning.  I’ve never read the following rule formalized, so I thought I’d set it down.  The rule is:

When trying to get off a mountain, “Reverse the directions that got you there” is a better algorithm than “This road has to go somewhere, doesn’t it?”

I believe the rule has even greater validity in December.  In the Northern Hemisphere.  After a snow.  In the dark.  Jesus.

“The Other Side”

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 20:57:14 -0600

Check out the cast list for this upcoming film.

Meditations on Glen Stephens

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 20:07:41 -0600

Glen Stephens is a Sydney-based stamp dealer.  He claims to have the most-visited stamp website in the Southern hemisphere, to be the largest stamp dealer in the Southern hemisphere, to be the largest stamp buyer in Sydney, and, I believe, to have cured polio.

It was he who offered the $500 prize that I described on this page.  It started at $200, but he made a post where he said if the thread reached 10,000 posts, he would up it to $500.

At 5,000 posts, he started a new thread because of “stability” issues.  The second thread met the 10,000 mark.

He is not honoring the $500 prize because “the thread” did not meet 10,000 posts — the thread that he closed.

Glen, as you might have guessed by now, has always had a gruff demeanor, high-pressure sales tactics, and an ego larger than his continent.  I always figured there was a heart of gold underneath.  I have long contended that stamp dealers fall neatly into two bins: those to whom you would entrust your house keys, and those you would cross the street to avoid.  Despite early warnings (such as charging obscene amounts for Machin booklets that were covered with pencil writing, which is inexcusable to not mention) I’ve given him chance after chance.  And it was a waste.

He posted on the site telling me that if I was not satisfied with the $200 prize, he could surely find a runner-up who would be.  Good for him.  Have fun, Glen.  May I suggest Waroff49?  I’m not intimidated by his threats, and I’m not intimidated by his deletion of my posts calling him on it.  I imagine that deletion of my user account will follow.  Such is to be expected from slimeballs.

The site is stampboards.com.  May I strongly recommend you do not visit?

For the search engines: “Glen Stephens sucks”.

Farewell, stamp boarders.  It’s been a pleasure knowing (most) of you.