Naming kids
MetaFilter sent me to a hilarious site (subtitled “A Primer on Parent Cruelty“) at which a commentator tears into posts on baby name bulletin boards. For instance, there’s this:
For the last 50 years, my family has been naming their children after Southwestern Ontario cities. My brother is Barrie, my sister is Kingston, and my cousin is Markham. I am due in two weeks (it’ll be a girl) and I thinking about naming her either York or Orillia. What do others think?
I think it’s time for a nuclear strike against Ottawa.
… and this …
here are some names i saw today
kaytaquana
alliwen
camianne
shaynelna
karlakenya
adanah
leezi
mays
karjovon
brandnel
jaslera
breedee
tylee
allikaylor
tylera
shairani
I’m guessing (hoping, praying) these are names you saw today while you were hitting random keys on the computer at Bellevue just before the Thorazine kicked in. Wait, let me try:
huvven
woakam
euwher
iluhad
joofenkel (for boy or girl)
jofwern
mu’ulf
opiuren
puj
yubjibi
roowp
qimwoup
Abcadeffgheejecklemenopqrestuvwexiz (the most incredible word I’ve ever seen!)
Not that I’m completely innocent in this respect. I think Niamh (feminine) and Reason (masculine) are great names. But Jaslera? Karlakenya? Let’s hope the person was joking.
One person proposes what he calls the “Secretary of State Test”, “i.e., imagine how it would sound to have a news anchor read the now-adult child’s name out in a serious context like “Today at the United Nations, Secretary of State [Brandy Alexandra Jones] condemned Iraq’s stance….” Another person, at a different site, suggests that when naming a child, you should first “go to the back door, fling it open and yell the name at the top of your lungs six or eight times, because that’s how it’s going to be heard for the next eighteen years.”
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